The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
