Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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