Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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