I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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