I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
