I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
