Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
