Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
