I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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