peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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