You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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