I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize