I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
