Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
