Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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