So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
