and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Randomize
