You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
