..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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