ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Operation Purity has been aborted
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
