i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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