nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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