Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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