Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Duck Duck Cougar?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
