I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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