I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
