im six kinds of drunk right now
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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