I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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