How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You were trust falling into bushes
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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