apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
