tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
