What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
