I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
