did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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