so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
