she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize