This girl is more easily done than said...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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