oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
3pm strippers are depressing
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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