You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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