Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
