yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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