those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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