why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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