all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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