yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
