He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
lets start a swedish sibling band together
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
