oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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