Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
