i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
