That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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