Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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