those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
