I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
