Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
