Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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