This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
