There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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