this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
